I Had An Ugly Moment

I'd like to know if any of you have had one of these moments.

I am always able to grit my teeth when frustrated by my father. He doesn't mean to cause difficulty, and almost never even realizes when he does. To point out his errors is pointless; why, so he can make improvements? That's kind of like someone with two months to live worrying about the salt content in their food.

So I'm always understanding about the countless detours and misunderstandings that happen along the way. Like the time I was finished grocery shopping and had just gotten in line, when my father came to me too say he lost his shopping cart. Can't remember where he left it as he stopped to look at something. Well, the store is pretty big, and we went up and down all the aisles, me pushing the heavy cart with the thawing food, until he found it.

I just absorb all of this. Today, though, I lost my composure. I had bought a newspaper this morning that my father doesn't read; I'm looking for a piece written by a reporter who two days ago said she will be calling us to do a story on my son.

About 3 hours later I went looking for the paper to read. I had left it in the kitchen, but found it on the floor next to my father's chair in the living room, under a pair of boots. It was all in pieces, every page taken out, scattered who know where? I tried putting it back together but too much was missing. I didn't disguise my anger.

My frustration was stronger than guilt this time. I apologized later but actually, it felt good to let him know how hard it is to deal with every hour of every day.

My mother had a pressure cooker that she used to cook meat in that made it tender quickly. It had a pressure-relief valve on top. I need a pressure-relief valve.

I don't really know what that should be.

Ideas?