The Zen of Time Management

I had a big idea. I planned the rest of my life. Even started a new job in my industry of choice (more on that in a future post). My future - when my son has left home, and my father has moved on to eternal life with God. When I will be free of obligations and able to work a full-time job.

I forgot one fact. That I don't like working in office environments. That I am happiest alone and in solitude, answering only to my own goals and purposes.

It all came back to me the past several months. Oh, yeah...now I remember.

What my mind forgot, my body remembered. I had mentioned in a previous post a Buddhist friend advising me on pain. Even though I haven't seen her in a while, her words of two years ago came back to be yesterday: Ask the pain what it is trying to tell you.

Over the past week, I have had a recurrence of sciatica. Just mentioning the ailment makes me feel like a midday Lawrence Welk commercial. (If you don't know who that is, don't worry about it; you're either too young or have forgotten). Sciatica is extremely painful, by the way. It lasts weeks. 

Because I am dense at times, my body is knocking LOUDLY on my brain's door. WE ARE NOT HAPPY!

What's wrong? I humbly ask.

You forgot your passions is the answer I get.

I explain to myself  (myself - are you kidding me?) that I need to plan my future, to make it secure. Hey, I got a job in the industry and everything!

We weren't made for this.

I know in the deepest depth of my soul that is true. I have spent the past several months making a writing apartment in our attic. It is the most joyful job I have done in ages. I have a sense of thank you from the wiser portion of myself.

There are times - too many - when I go off-track with my Big Ideas. To my credit, I do pray about these life changers. I asked for confirmation. I even got it.

My next question was to God: so why did you give me that job if it's off my path?

The answer: so you will stop flip-flopping like a trout in a bucket and look in the bloomin' mirror and see the truth.

I think I heard Him mumble something like, "you moron," but it was said with the greatest of love...

My reaction to all of this? I am committed to writing 8 hours a week. Therefore, joyfully, peacefully, "dancingly" - - -

I'm baaaack!