Take Time or Time Will Take You

I haven't been aggressive enough about publishing a daily post. I do allow myself weekends off from my blog since I work all day Saturdays and while I am home there are just too many demands on my time.

So today I'm making this the first thing I do, even before breakfast. As soon as I hit the kitchen it will be about cleaning, picking up, etc. For example, my dad often misses the trash can as he can't see well. Almost always there is a mess to be picked up next to it.

Yesterday was just impossible, even for me, who is used to such things. Besides my usual paperwork on Monday mornngs, I had to drive my car 1/2 hour away to a body shop for repair (someone backed out of her driveway and right into my car while it was parked on the street in front of a friend's house). Of course I had to ask a friend to bring me back home, then served him lunch. My father's newspaper wasn't delivered so he needed me to go out and buy one. So I had to chase said friend out because our driveway is a one-car-at-a-time setup.

After running that errand I had a writer's meeting to attend. This is the one thing I do that benefits absolutely no one but me and my fellow writers, and my dear blog readers as I hopefully hone my writing skills.

My phone rang twice while I was at the meeting and I ignored it as it was a relative who needs seemingly constant attention from me, for the past 27 years. I returned his call on the way home and was on the phone for almost an hour. He is very needy emotionally and financially and views me as his lifesaver.

I've mentioned before how I attract needy people, right? This will be another blog post about setting boundaries, about which I am no expert, believe me. But, this relative is able to hijack so much of my time and my finances because he becomes very frightening and threatening when I try to sever ties. Deciding between just sucking it up or being fearful of what he says he will do to me, I choose the first option.

While on the phone with him, I said I had to call my father's doctor - still no word about his infection. "Go ahead and call," my relative says. "I'll wait." If I insist that I have to hang up he will become angry, based on past experience.

So I called my father's doctor, one phone at one ear, another at the other ear. My father came to me and while talking to his doctor's office, asked me to ask them about some OTC medication he didn't understand. No problem. Talking to 3 people at once? What, you can't handle that?

I was very tired yesterday after everything. My son showed me his tentative classes for next year, which needed to be signed. I reviewed it - no history? Why are there 2 phys ed classes? What about the foreign language requirement? Why is Algebra I here, shouldn't it be Alg II? My son made a list of questions for his guidance counciler (is that spelled correctly?). I didn't sign my approval. Consult graduation requirements, read course descriptions.

Two more phone calls from my relative. To my credit, I do not always answer when he calls, but he needs an explanation as to why, or he will demand an explanation. Not answering the phone when he calls carries the same burden as, say, committing a crime.

I am so very very tired. I know someone whose mother is dying, who is also an only child, and he has FIVE kids. His wife, he believes, has NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) and stays locked in her room 8-10 hours a day, leaving him to handle everything. She is "punishing" him for "neglecting" her because his priority right now is his mother.

I understand, completely, what he is going through. For those with a tender heart, it seems always the burden to bear.

Till next time - tomorrow, I hope,
June