Kindred Spirits

It's a joyful thing to find someone who can relate to your challenges. The conversation came up with my stand partner in one of the orchestras I play in. His 87-year-old father lives with him and his wife. I knew this for some time, but we got to comparing our fathers; I was amazed by how like my experience John's is. It seems we must have the same father! He told me of his dad accusing him of taking his money, of not saying things he has just said, of not doing things he has just done. John feels as I do, the need to correct him.

I'm starting to think trying to correct is the wrong tactic. Nothing is really resolved when I tell my father, "But you just said you paid that bill." He thinks I'm jerking him around, I get frustrated that he doesn't understand I am speaking the truth. He has no memory of what happened ten minutes ago; how can he not know? John told me of trying to correct his father too, with the same negative results. I felt huge relief knowing that I'm not alone.

Perhaps a better course of action would be to not argue with our older loved ones, but rather just drop the subject and forget about it. Why do we need to prove we're right?

Just forget about it. Chances are, our loved one already has.