Triangulation

Family dynamics, like the flow of water, are ever changing; sometimes pure, sometimes polluted. The family is as necessary to us as water; similarly, misunderstandings are the sewage that contaminates what should be a healthy, healing, and restorative home.

And oh, how often those misunderstandings come about when a family member's thought process and hearing are impared. Let me share with you an incident I never saw coming . . .

Dad was in his room on the second floor, I was in my third-floor office. My son had just seen an amazing video on tv he wanted to tell me about. The door to the third floor is beside Dad's bedroom door, so of course he could easily hear my son as he called up to me describing the video. The subject was someone who had attempted to fill a propane tank at night, couldn't see what he was doing, and lit a match! This is all great stuff to a boy.

It so happens that Dad didn't catch the details of the story. It was something about a gas tank blowing up. When he asked my son what he was talking about, he answered, "Oh, nothing, Grandpa, I was just talking to Mom." It's easier to say that than have to explain.

A few minutes later my father came to me, looking angry:
"What's going on that I don't know about?"
"What do you mean?"
"I heard Anthony telling you about a gas tank blowing up. I know he was talking about the kerosene heater in the cellar. I know he did something, and I want to know about it. I want to know what's going on and why both of you are keeping it a secret!"

Whew.

I explained to him that we no longer have that heater. I also had to explain to him that my son was telling me about a video on tv, and that he told you "nothing" because it was easier to just say that than have to explain the conversation from start to finish. As I was doing now.

I think he got the drift, but he got the in last word by scolding me - "Well, I want to be told what's going on from now on!"

I need to wear one of those "helmet cams" so I can simply hit play when the need arises.

As you can imagine, my son wanted to know what he did to make Grandpa mad. I then had to explain how he had jumped to conclusions based on things he thought my son said and then reacted.

I cautioned my son that whenever he says something, Grandpa will think it's meant for him and ask for an explanation.

As a matter if fact, I stopped talking to Puddykins my cat, because it wasn't worth having to explain to Dad that I was talking to the cat, not him, and all I said anyway was that he looks so soft and silky.